Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
