im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
