I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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