he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
