This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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