so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
