At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
