I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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