if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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