D3 body, D1 cock
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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