....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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