It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
