love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
