We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Enjoy the penises
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
