I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize