Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
