Banned from zoo.
Again?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
