The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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