it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
