Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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