Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
