Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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