just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
