Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
