ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
