About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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