my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
