Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
