My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
