Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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