I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
