youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
