i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
