Pants 0. Shit 1.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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