Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
