...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
