Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
