White coat. Heels.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
