She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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