Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
