Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
