I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
