would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
