it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
