i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
