Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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