As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
