Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
