I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
