is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
