just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
