I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
